Facing Fear_Fear Saga Volume One Read online

  “I’ve actually been hoping to run into you,” he said while she continued to stare up at him. “I wanted to apologize for the way my brother acted last night. You look like you just got off work.”

  Unable to speak, Maya nodded. Her face grew even hotter and she regretted her decision to not change after work.

  “I was there earlier,” he continued. “Did you get the tip I left?” Again, Maya nodded. Her eyes followed his hand as he reached up to brush his hair out of his face. “I thought I saw you earlier. I wanted to apologize then, but you weren’t alone. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

  “I-I saw you too,” she finally managed to stammer out. She cleared her throat before trying again. “On a tour in the cemetery,” she added.

  It was his turn to blush. “I wasn’t sure if you recognized me. I really am sorry about last night.”

  “It wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have to apologize for something you didn’t do.”

  He laughed. “Well, it’s not like Jake would ever apologize. For anything. Ever.” He appeared to be lost in thought for a moment before snapping back to attention and changing the subject. “Are you headed home? I could walk you. I mean, my brother has left town, but he’s not the only bad biker around.”

  Maya shook her head. “I’m going to the Trial,” she told him before she realized he probably had no clue what she was talking about. “The Deadwood Alive theater group does a nightly reenactment of the trial of Jack McCall after he shot Wild Bill.”

  His gentle laugh sounded nervous. “I knew what you meant when you said the Trial.” He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. “I’m headed there too.”

  Maya glanced down at his hand. Sure enough, he held a Trial ticket. “You are going the wrong way,” she pointed out.

  “I was trying to get to the capture. Do they do this show every day?”

  Maya nodded. “Except Sunday. And during the summer, except during Sturgis week, they have gunfights in the streets. But you missed the capture.”

  “Mind if I join you for the play?”

  Just when she thought she was done blushing, her cheeks turned red again. She nodded toward the end of the street. “We need to hurry if you don’t want to miss the beginning.”

  “Have you seen it before?” he asked as they started walking.

  Maya nodded. “At least a hundred times,” she laughed.

  “Aren’t you sick of it yet?”

  Maya shrugged as she explained that it wasn’t the exact same show every night. Audience members were selected to play certain roles and they kept it interesting. “And my best friend is part of the theater group.”

  They fell silent for a moment as they continued to follow the crowd down the street toward the theater.

  “I’m such an ass,” he announced after about half a block. “I never introduced myself,” he laughed. “I’m Troy.”

  “Maya,” she said quietly. “So your brother really left town?”

  “He’s still in the area, but the guys only had the room in Deadwood until this morning,” he explained. “They should be camping in Sturgis the rest of the week.”

  “They just left you here?”

  It was Troy’s turn to shrug. “I never went back to the hotel last night. I checked it out this morning, but they were already gone. It’s no big deal.”

  “You seem too nice to fit in with them anyway.”

  He froze. Maya could tell that something was bothering him, but she didn’t want to push it. She had no way of knowing that her completely innocent comment would bother him so much. It wasn’t her fault, but it reminded him that he didn’t fit in anywhere; not even with his own family.

  “I’m just not interested in being part of the MC,” he finally said, but the tone of his voice was different.

  “Maya! We haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks!” Janice, one of the older ladies taking tickets exclaimed when they entered the theater. “We didn’t know you were coming tonight. Seating will be a bit tight. We have a sold out crowd!”

  Maya smiled and hugged the woman back. “I can stand in the back. It’s not a big deal,” she said.

  Janice waved her hand. “We will just stuff a few more chairs in,” she assured her. “How is the family?”

  Unsure what to do while Maya was talking to the woman, Troy politely stood next to Maya. He noticed how she tensed up at the mention of her family, but apparently the woman didn’t realize it.

  “Gavin is doing great. He loves the summer camp he has been attending.”

  “And your dad?”

  Maya didn’t have a positive answer to that question. She shrugged. “He is doing okay.”

  Janice didn’t have time to ask her to elaborate because of the tourists eager to get into the theater. Troy wanted to ask her about it, but by the time they were settled in their seats, the lights inside the small crowded theater dimmed indicating the start of the performance.

  Feeling like he was being watched, Troy scanned the stage and his heart plummeted. Maya’s best friend—the person she had went to see perform—was the guy she had been in the cemetery with.

  Troy felt uneasy under the performer’s gaze. It was almost as though he felt threatened just because Troy was seated next to Maya. Troy wondered how long they had been together. The boy was clearly in love with Maya, but his jealousy indicated either a new relationship or a guilty conscience on his part. He hoped it was the former, because Maya didn’t deserve to be with someone that would hurt her. Troy barely knew the girl, but he instantly felt protective of her.

  Troy tried to concentrate on the performance, but it was impossible with someone as beautiful as Maya sitting next to him. He didn’t want to be in a crowded theater with her; he wanted to go somewhere he could talk to her. He wanted to get to know her.

  What was wrong with him? She had a boyfriend, and even if she didn’t, she was too good for Troy. He knew he should just leave town and never look back before everyone ended up hurt.

  Of course, he rarely actually did anything he should do. His past was proof of that.

  When the play was over—and Troy didn’t pay attention to a word of it—he turned to Maya, relieved to finally be able to talk to her. “Do you want to go get something to eat?” he asked casually.

  Maya’s face reddened, which actually increased his attraction to her. “I usually hang out with Cody after the show. You can join us if you want,” she offered.

  Tagging along on a date with Maya and her boyfriend did not sound appealing to Troy. He couldn’t even look at the young performer without wanting to rip his head off, and he couldn’t imagine Maya would be okay with that happening.

  “I think I should just head out,” he said. “It’s been a long day.” He didn’t tell her that after defending her the previous night, he didn’t exactly get much sleep out in the woods.

  He turned to walk away. He needed to get away before he did something stupid. He didn’t understand the insane attraction he felt toward her.

  “Will I see you again?”

  He turned back to her and found the pair of deep green eyes staring up at him so captivating that he was rendered speechless.

  “I mean, I don’t know how long you are in town for,” she added. She chewed on her bottom lip the way she always did when she was nervous. Another small thing about her that Troy found utterly irresistible.

  Taking a deep breath and keeping his distance, Troy shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea how long I’ll be in town for,” he told her.

  Maya opened her mouth to stay something else, but she closed it when Cody approached them. Completely ignoring Troy, he pulled Maya into a hug. Troy bolted from the theater before Maya ended the embrace. He couldn’t stand to see her in the arms of another man.

  “Who was that?” Cody asked after Troy disappeared.

  Looking up at Cody, Maya wasn’t sure how to answer him. She was stunned at the way Troy had just run off.

  “Just a tourist that I keep running into,” she
shrugged. She couldn’t help but smile as she thought of the way they had literally ran into each other, but she didn’t tell Cody about that. She also didn’t mention that it had been Troy’s brother that caused her meltdown at work.

  “I thought you said you would never date a tourist,” Cody said as he glanced down at his best friend.

  “What?” His words had caught Maya off guard, but he was right. She had always said she would never date anyone that was only in town temporarily, but in reality, she didn’t date at all. She didn’t have time for a relationship.

  “You like him,” Cody pointed out, barely disguising the hurt in his voice.

  “No, I don’t,” Maya insisted little too defensively. “I barely know him.”

  “You like him and he is definitely interested in you,” Cody added. “Why did you bring him here?”

  “I didn’t bring him. We ran into each other on the way here.”

  “Maya, I saw the two of you walk in together. I saw you sitting together. I saw the way he looked at you.”

  “Why are you so angry over this?”

  “Because, once again, I will be the shoulder you cry on when you get hurt!”

  Maya was stunned. Cody rarely got mad about anything, and he was yelling at her in the middle of the theater. Most of the spectators had already cleared out, but several of the actors and a handful of the tourists were still there. Maya could feel her face turn red and tears were threatening to spill.

  Cody lowered his voice and continued. “Normally, I don’t mind being the shoulder you cry one, Maya, but I can’t handle being there for you while you cry over a guy.”

  Maya didn’t know what to say. There was no hiding the tears that had begun to stream down her face. A couple of the actors were talking quietly and staring over at them.

  “What are you saying Cody?” she finally asked, despite the fact that she really didn’t want an answer.

  “I’m saying that maybe it would be better if we weren’t friends,” he said quietly.

  The words hit her like a slap in the face. Cody had been her best friend since fourth grade. They were a couple of the few kids in school that actually stuck around town for the summers. Several of the others spent the tourist season traveling with their families while they rented out their homes to tourists.

  Cody and Maya had been there for each other for every tragedy that life threw at them. She had been there when his dad died. He was there when her mom walked out and deserted her family. He helped with her brother when Maya’s dad had his accident in the mines. She couldn’t imagine life without Cody.

  She couldn’t argue with him. She couldn’t speak. She just stood in the almost empty theater and watched her best friend walk out of her life. The tears kept falling as Maya walked home alone. What had just happened? Why was Cody so upset? It just didn’t make any sense.

  When she finally made her way home, her dad and brother were asleep when she made it home. She didn’t want to explain why she had been crying.

  She crawled into her bed even though she wasn’t tired. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been home before midnight. Normally she would be in the cemetery with Cody until they could barely keep their eyes open.

  Those days were clearly over and she had no idea why. She had no one else to turn to. She was completely lost.

  ~4~

  A fter Troy had fled the theater, he ran through the crowded streets, ignoring the people yelling at him as he flew past them. He needed to get away.

  He was on his bike and headed for the interstate before he even realized what he was doing. He could feel the tears stinging in his eyes as he merged onto I90. He didn’t know where he was going, but he didn’t care. All he knew was the he needed to get away from Deadwood. Away from Maya.

  Why did she have such an effect on him? He didn’t understand the pull she had on him.

  He had only felt such an attraction to another person one other time in his life, but Maya was nothing like Trinity.

  He shook his head. He couldn’t think about Trinity. Especially not when he was on his bike, barreling down the highway at over eighty miles per hour. He pulled off on the nearest exit and barely made it into a deserted parking lot before he hit the ground. He didn’t even care about any damage he had done to his Harley. He couldn’t even pick himself up off the ground as the tears overcame him.

  As soon as Trinity’s name entered his mind, the anxiety attack started. He couldn’t see through the tears. The tightening in his chest was making it difficult to breathe as he gasped for breath.

  Why does the mere thought of her name still bother him so? It had been a year.

  He shook his head, hoping to chase away the memories. Of course it didn’t work. There was no escaping the constant nightmare.

  He had known Trinity his entire life. Her father had been his old man’s best friend. All through elementary school, they had been inseparable. She had been his best friend and he would have done anything for her.

  She had been his first girlfriend. The day he buried his parents, she had given him his first kiss. A couple of years later, they shared another first. He proposed to her before he even graduated high school.

  Troy was in love, but she apparently didn’t feel the same way. When he turned eighteen and didn’t immediately join the MC, the relationship started to get rocky.

  A few months later, just before Thanksgiving, Troy’s world turned upside down. He found his fiancé in a bed with his own brother.

  Troy still had no recollection of what happened the night he found them together, but he was told he had beaten Jake pretty badly.

  Six months in jail left Troy with a lot of time to think as well as time to work on his anger issues. He would never be able to truly forgive Jake for what he did, but it did open his eyes. Trinity never really loved Troy; she only wanted the MC lifestyle. When he didn’t step up and become president like his father had wanted, she turned her sights on the one that did.

  When Troy was released from jail in May, he avoided the MC as much as possible. He had heard from a few of the guys that Trinity was still hanging around, being passed from guy to guy. Troy never wanted to see her again. He knew seeing her with someone else would break him. He had worked so hard to control his anger, but he was terrified that he wouldn’t stop at simply beating up the man that was with his first love.

  When he heard a group of the guys had the Sturgis trip planned, he all but begged Jake to let him tag along. While he was still beyond furious with his brother, the chance to get out of town made him slightly more tolerable.

  Why was he even thinking about all this? Why did Maya make him think of Trinity?

  The girls were absolutely nothing alike. Sure, they both technically had blonde hair, but Trinity kept hers cut short and dyed black, while Maya’s was long, wavy, and beautiful. Trinity had hard brown eyes. Maya’s were a deep emerald green.

  Troy couldn’t deny that he felt a pull to Maya the same way he had for Trinity all those years ago. He wanted to spend every possible moment with her. He couldn’t stay away.

  He knew he needed to go. He needed to get out of the state before he ended up hurting someone. He didn’t know where he would go but he couldn’t return home and he couldn’t remain in South Dakota.

  By the time he realized that he was still sitting next to his dumped bike instead of getting as far away as possible, the sun was coming up. Another sleepless night.

  ~***~

  By the time the sun came up, Maya still hadn’t been able to fall asleep, and she was still as confused as ever.

  She floated through the day in a daze. Thankfully, Chloe was back at work and Maya was back to her normal job as hostess because there was no way she would have been able to wait tables.

  The Sunday crowd at work was much mellower than the rest of the weekend had been. A large portion of the biker crowd had moved on to Sturgis for the festivities that would be beginning the following day and with no reenactment shows on Sundays, D
eadwood was fairly quiet.

  “Where’s the boyfriend?” Chloe asked Maya later in the afternoon.

  It took her a minute to realize who she was talking about, but then Maya realized it was the first Sunday all summer that Cody wasn’t hanging around the restaurant.

  “He was never my boyfriend,” Maya replied.

  Chloe smiled at her. “Keep telling yourself that.”

  “Is everything okay with Mason?” Maya asked, desperately trying to change the subject. She liked Chloe and knew the young mother wouldn’t push too much, but she really didn’t want to talk about Cody.

  “It is today,” Chloe sighed. “Thanks for helping out when I couldn’t be here. He had a couple of bad days and absolutely refused to go to his day care. I couldn’t leave him when he was having a complete meltdown. I’m not sure if they would have been able to handle him like that.”

  Maya nodded. She had been around for a few of those meltdowns, although thankfully she hadn’t been babysitting at the time.

  She was glad that Chloe had to get back to her tables. Maya had no idea why she would have thought Cody was her boyfriend, but she didn’t want to ask. She didn’t want to talk about Cody. She couldn’t talk about Cody. She wasn’t even sure she could even think about Cody without bursting into tears.

  She even stayed at work longer than she was scheduled because she didn’t want to explain to her dad and brother why she was home early.

  “Maya, why don’t you go home and get some sleep,” Tom said to her while she was attempting to keep herself busy, even if it meant wiping down the same table multiple times.

  “I’m fine,” she answered automatically. It didn’t matter that she was completely exhausted. She needed to keep herself busy.

  “You are obviously upset about something. You have been sort of off in your own world all day. That’s not like you.”

  He was right. Maya was usually completely focused at work, but that particular day her mind kept wandering.

  She missed Cody.